Capstone Portfolio Journal - Module six Reflections:
"Be a student as long as you still have something to learn
and this will mean all your life."
- Henry L. Doherty
and this will mean all your life."
- Henry L. Doherty
June 21, 2021 - June 27, 2021
This week was CHALLENGING. A lot of digging into my old folders and assignments. Really glad I was really organized with my paperwork and had developed an effective methodology for studying and taking notes. It made searching and resparking my memories for each course I took a lot easier.
Something pretty significant for me was that I made a conscious effort to change my “titles” if you will for my website based on reading through my work. I generally shied away from using “leader” so prominently as a title for myself. I felt an all too familiar sense of imposter’s syndrome thinking that I wasn’t worthy of that title. Yet this time in my graduate program and time and time again in my work situation - I have felt growth, maturity and confidence in my dealings. I intuitively could feel that I am becoming a more effective leader and practitioner. Yet why did I still have those feelings of unworthiness? I continue to explore my inner voice and constantly try to remind myself gently that I do not have to listen to that voice. But I also recognize that this may be a lifelong practice; so today I am choosing to recognize and honor my journey thus far as an emerging leader.
One of my skills I chose to showcase is my critical thinking. Boy did this program have LOTS of assignments that forced you to critically think. This will probably be my first time talking more specifically about my aforementioned “growth” I felt going through MSU these past 3 years. I want to highlight that the theories and information I have learned in each class have given me new tools to better absorb the information around me more effectively to better serve my goals. For example, through taking my Foundations in Postsecondary Education course, the history was very informative for why the systems of education exist the way they do today. With that knowledge in mind, I can better understand how the historical dealings of America’s past may make pursuing change in my university within my scope/worth my energy. For instance, I may not be able to go out there and change the whole system of financial aid in this country; but I can definitely figure out localized solutions that better support our types of students in helping them navigate a complex financial aid process. The topics I learned in Administration in Higher Education talk specifically to the importance of the various “lenses” one can use to interpret the same situation. Why did our university decide during this pandemic to take specific types of budget cuts or layoff decisions of particular groups on campus, while hiring was still happening? Why did we see continued capital construction on buildings while the communication across the UC system consistently says that we are in a deficit? There is always far more to the story than just what the $’s say “makes sense.”
Some “real life” situations I can use these methods would be to establish better work relationships by being able to acknowledge and empathize with the complications of working in higher education administration as being a practitioner myself. I can feel less “frustrated” when campus leadership makes decisions that seem to be “out of sync” with what me and my colleagues want (surprise, the answer is it is the “system’s” wrong doing most of the time, not an individual person out to try and make life harder for you and your daily work - that would be the easier answer). One of my favorite resources was the textbook “How Colleges Work” by Robert Birnbaum that actually has written out scenarios with dialogue and a detailed analysis of the exchanges that I have personally seen with my own two eyes in work meetings. It is amazing how long ago the book was written (published 1988) and yet how relevant and enduring the information is still today!
Additionally, this practice of having to continue to analyze where I see these examples show up in my professional life have inevitably led me to see its application in my personal life too. I felt my relationships with my loved ones qualitatively get better as a result of me being able to better “read” a situation and context clues (i.e. participant observation from ED 800: Concepts of Educational Inquiry). My ability to establish partnerships across different individuals and offices has also been bolstered through demonstrating my understanding of the cybernetic inner workings of our university.
Overall this week’s work has been extremely affirming to say to the least that my program has been paying dividends back to me in such valuable ways.
This week was CHALLENGING. A lot of digging into my old folders and assignments. Really glad I was really organized with my paperwork and had developed an effective methodology for studying and taking notes. It made searching and resparking my memories for each course I took a lot easier.
Something pretty significant for me was that I made a conscious effort to change my “titles” if you will for my website based on reading through my work. I generally shied away from using “leader” so prominently as a title for myself. I felt an all too familiar sense of imposter’s syndrome thinking that I wasn’t worthy of that title. Yet this time in my graduate program and time and time again in my work situation - I have felt growth, maturity and confidence in my dealings. I intuitively could feel that I am becoming a more effective leader and practitioner. Yet why did I still have those feelings of unworthiness? I continue to explore my inner voice and constantly try to remind myself gently that I do not have to listen to that voice. But I also recognize that this may be a lifelong practice; so today I am choosing to recognize and honor my journey thus far as an emerging leader.
One of my skills I chose to showcase is my critical thinking. Boy did this program have LOTS of assignments that forced you to critically think. This will probably be my first time talking more specifically about my aforementioned “growth” I felt going through MSU these past 3 years. I want to highlight that the theories and information I have learned in each class have given me new tools to better absorb the information around me more effectively to better serve my goals. For example, through taking my Foundations in Postsecondary Education course, the history was very informative for why the systems of education exist the way they do today. With that knowledge in mind, I can better understand how the historical dealings of America’s past may make pursuing change in my university within my scope/worth my energy. For instance, I may not be able to go out there and change the whole system of financial aid in this country; but I can definitely figure out localized solutions that better support our types of students in helping them navigate a complex financial aid process. The topics I learned in Administration in Higher Education talk specifically to the importance of the various “lenses” one can use to interpret the same situation. Why did our university decide during this pandemic to take specific types of budget cuts or layoff decisions of particular groups on campus, while hiring was still happening? Why did we see continued capital construction on buildings while the communication across the UC system consistently says that we are in a deficit? There is always far more to the story than just what the $’s say “makes sense.”
Some “real life” situations I can use these methods would be to establish better work relationships by being able to acknowledge and empathize with the complications of working in higher education administration as being a practitioner myself. I can feel less “frustrated” when campus leadership makes decisions that seem to be “out of sync” with what me and my colleagues want (surprise, the answer is it is the “system’s” wrong doing most of the time, not an individual person out to try and make life harder for you and your daily work - that would be the easier answer). One of my favorite resources was the textbook “How Colleges Work” by Robert Birnbaum that actually has written out scenarios with dialogue and a detailed analysis of the exchanges that I have personally seen with my own two eyes in work meetings. It is amazing how long ago the book was written (published 1988) and yet how relevant and enduring the information is still today!
Additionally, this practice of having to continue to analyze where I see these examples show up in my professional life have inevitably led me to see its application in my personal life too. I felt my relationships with my loved ones qualitatively get better as a result of me being able to better “read” a situation and context clues (i.e. participant observation from ED 800: Concepts of Educational Inquiry). My ability to establish partnerships across different individuals and offices has also been bolstered through demonstrating my understanding of the cybernetic inner workings of our university.
Overall this week’s work has been extremely affirming to say to the least that my program has been paying dividends back to me in such valuable ways.
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©2021 by Tracy Liu
©2021 by Tracy Liu